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Friday, September 5, 2008

God's Mysterious Ways....

I have been having just one of those "pity parties" for myself lately. SO much going on, so much to do, so much to deal with and just frankly tired of it all. So selfish and so willing to be just "sit and be ill" as I call it instead of "sit and be still" ;). I have shared my frustrations in prayer (which I know is totally healthy), and to myself thinking "why this" and "why that" for me and friends with burdens right now. I'm about ready to throw my hands up. I'm at the end up of my rope and in much prayer asking God to show me what to do and enlighten me on why do I think things are just so irritating right now?! As I've said before be careful what you pray for....
Then walks in the most precious woman at our office. She is beautiful inside and out and dressed so cute and ALL smiles. She is so friendly and never once does her smile leave her face or her gentle spirit leave the room in which she sits. Later, I find out this woman has NO family, I mean zilch,zero, nada. No children, all her siblings live in other states and she's 100% alone. Which saddens me as she seems so 'put together'. So I think wow~thats nice she can be that friendly and all smiles and look so fab. Then, I also learn that she is suffering from cancer. Immediately I do a double take and take a good look at her and notice other than her head being covered by a fashionable headpiece, she looks pretty darn good! So I reasses and think surely this woman who is so friendly all the while suffering from cancer must be in remission. Nope, she is terminal. Okay then, that hits me like a ton of bricks and why is she smiling so and so happy? She is all smiles, come to find out from our mutual friend, because of her great love for the Lord and the peace she gains from Him EVERY single day. Well then, holy cow, she can be jolly and I'm going to be pouty??(which I can do quite well);) I felt like an ant in the room with her. And remember, this woman is going through this with no family nearby, not a one! So here, this precious woman is showing God's love simply by her demenaor and I'm showing no love, and how do our two life issues compare?? You know the answer to that, they certainly don't! Sure, some of my "burdens" and "issues" that I'm praying for and about for me as well as others are pretty big deals, but none of my personal ones compare to hers whatsoever. And hmph! She's the one that has a smile on her face while I look stressed and irritated and I think I'm the one hanging on for dear life?? Made me think twice as you can imagine. I have pretty much gotten to the point of begging God to show favor on me, save me from things, help me see his light and be patient and loving and all those things. I pray this almost daily.....well buds, he delievered! He did just that today! He showed me by this precious, God loving woman. I actually got to converse with her and personally see His love overflowing from her. This woman faced with death around the corner, is joyful, smiles and not fearful in the least. I thanked Him for opening my eyes, but also remembered my prayers to Him, begging to be shown favor or good will which is the defintion of grace.........and guess what? As she slips out the door and on her way, I find out her name is what else, but Grace!

5 comments:

Katie said...

We have to get together soon! I miss ya and we need to have a great chat! Let's put it on the calendar!

Gage Family said...

oh my goodness, bud! if THAT wasn't God- i don't know what is! she is for sure an angel.so sad at the same time though. dinner soon?

Kelly said...

Was it 2 Corinthians that was in our devotional that said - "Your Grace is sufficient"? We are entitled to feel all these emotions but just know that it all goes back to Him, so don't get too caught up in them!

Adam said...

That was really beautiful, Jennifer!

Robyn said...

what a story! love you, bud!!!