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Saturday, January 22, 2011

With heavy heavy Hearts....

We have had some bad and sad news today. Right before Thanksgiving we found out we were pregnant. We were very early, we found out super soon, we were excited about this as we could take all the proper precautions, and we did. We had a 6 week ultrasound in early Dec and things were good we even saw a strong heartbeat flickering on the ultrasound screen. This past Wednesday we hit the 3 month mark and had our 12 week appointment Thursday, hearing another strong heartbeat through the doppler, then Friday we went back for an ultrasound since the tech was out Thursday. It turned out to be a heartbreaking ultrasound. Our baby was waving and seemed to be normal, we were elated to say the least. We were told shortly thereafter by the tech that our baby has a major defect that is “not compatible with life.” Our hearts were instantly broken as we stood there and listened to what we were going to face. We were immediately sent to a specialist at Piedmont hospital. We had several long and detailed ultrasounds, in which they were able to tell us the baby we had fallen in love with is a girl. They did extensive ultrasounds at the specialist and confirmed that she has a severe problem with her lymphatic system. This is known as Cystic Hygroma where the baby has extra fluid around them that is caused by the body not draining properly. The reason the body is not draining properly can be caused by many defects, such as; down syndrome, turners syndrome, trisomys, heart defects and many other things. While we don’t know which one we are carrying, we do know our baby girl’s fluid is quite big, 9mm to be exact and the prognosis is not good. We were given 3 options. We can have an invasive test on Monday, called a CVS to determine what strain of this we are dealing with and if it’s chromosomal or genetic. We could do nothing and see how things turn out, or we can terminate the pregnancy. We both immediately agreed that termination wasn’t for us. For us, our faith is too great for that, and after our very long ultrasounds today with a baby girl waving at us and sucking her thumb and a clear strong heartbeat, we just can’t fathom that option for us, the thought never stayed in our mind for even a second. We did choose to have the CVS test, which will take place Monday afternoon at Northside Hospital. This test will draw fluid from the placenta and it will be cultured and after an agonizing week of waiting, we will know what chromosomal or genetic defect we are dealing with. Having a Cystic Hygroma in a prenatal screening is very very rare, it happens in 1 out of 1,000 pregnancies. From what we’ve learned, in cases similar to ours, the baby will eventually succumb to the defect, whatever it is that is not allowing the body to drain the fluid, and this typically happens between 20-26 weeks in utero. When this occurs, the baby is then delivered. If this is our case, we will carry our baby for as long as God’s plan is and go from there. We have read about many miracle stories and can only pray our baby might be one of those. We trust and pray for our Doctors as we enter this road. We serve the divine Healer, if he chooses to so heal her.
We will hold our faith and will appreciate prayers as we enter this long road. We are so very sad right now, so devestated and have shed more tears in a few days than one could imagine. Please share as you feel led, we need as many prayer warriors as we can get. We are blessed beyond words with lifelong best friends and such loving and supportive families. Nobody, up until this point knew we were pregnant, we were waiting for the 12 week mark, which we are at, but with news we didn’t expect. We still feel it’s important to share. We also feel it’s important to be as transparent in this journey of faith and hope as we can possibly be. We will update the blog as often as we can and we promise to you, the ones praying, that we will do so. We absolutely believe we serve a God of miracles and we know we can rest in His arms and His word no matter what the outcome. We ask that you pray for a miracle, for our broken hearts, for God’s will and for His love to shine through in such a dark time for us. We love you all and we ask that you put your faith where ours is right now, at the foot of the cross.

With much Love, Hope and Faith,
Jimmy and Jennifer

47 comments:

Katie said...

Oh Jennifer! I am praying for that sweet baby. And you and your husband as you seek direction.

Erin Stuntz said...

My heart is so broken for you- I have had a strange inclination that you were pregnant for awhile now and I have been praying for you often. I will continue praying for all three of you. My heart is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears but I know that we serve a holy and soverign God who has a plan and a reason for everything. I am thinking of you, Jimmy and sweet baby girl. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Know that you will be lifted up in prayer constantly!!!! I love you so much friend and I believe in miracles!!!!!!! Much love, Erin

Amanda said...

Sweet Jennifer. I am so proud of you. I am believing for a miracle with you. I too believe that the sweet baby girl waving at you was God's grace to help you fall even deeper in love with this baby and to help you go forward, doing the right thing. Simon and I are committing to praying for you...

Marlo said...

Jennifer and Jimmy, I cannot imagine how hard this must be on you. We are praying for you and will ask others to do the same. Miracles do happen and I have seen them especially with precious little babies. We love you and your little girl!!

xoxo
M3

Jennifer said...

I admire you so much friend. You are so strong and I am so amazed at the grace god has given you to share this part of your lives. I am praying for you and Jimmy and your sweet baby. Sending so much love and light your way bud. You are amazing! You and Jimmy have such a special relationship and I know you will hold each other up. Please know that I am here for you and will do anything I can to help you in this time
I love you and will be thinking of you often
Xoxoxoxooxoxo
Jen

Beverly said...

Dearest Jennifer and Jimmy, Know I and my prayer warriors will be lifting the three of you up in prayer "without ceasing" (Col 1:9). Remain steadfast in your faith and trust in our Lord Jesus Christ who hears you and everyone else groaning with sorrow (Ps 6:6)and promises to be faithful to those who love Him. Be the most transparent with God because those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God Himself. Remember when we face trials that our hearts and happiness are not bound in them; that the God of our salvation will be our strength and help us through the difficulties we meet in this world. With blessings and much love, Beverly

Sandra said...

Jennifer and Jimmy,

We love you and we are praying! Your faith is beautiful, stay strong and know that God is merciful and true.

Claire said...

Jennifer & Jimmy,
We love and support you all and will continue to keep you in special prayers. May God grant you peace and courage in the days and weeks ahead. This baby girl has chosen 2 amazing parents and I hope you know how much you are loved. "At what time I am afraid I will trust in thee."
-Claire & Brendan

Abby said...

Oh sweet girl,

You are such an incredible woman of God. I am praying for you, for Jimmy and your precious baby girl. My heart is broken for you and I am praying for God to wrap His arms around you both. Thank you so much for sharing your story so that we can pray for you and with you.

Kristy said...

I am a friend of a friend.... She sent this over I just wanted to say I am praying. It's hard to see now but God has a plan. I pray for strength and guidance.

Bridget said...

I don't know you, but I wanted to let you know that we'll be praying for you. We had a friend who dealt with a similar situation last year. She found a lot of comfort in reading the blog "Bring the Rain" by Angie Smith, whose husband Todd is in the singing group "Selah". Here is the link to the beginning of their story: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2008/01/beginning-of-story.html

Many prayers for you and your family.

Holiday said...

Jennifer- you are such an amazing example of God's beautiful work. I know your sweet baby girl takes after her mama. I am praying for all of you with faith that God can and will work miracles. I love you bud.

HappyascanB said...

Heartbroken just doesn't suffice. . . I am so devestated to read this news. Please know that I love you dearly and am praying for all three of you harder than I've ever prayed for you (and you know I've done some time on my knees for you, friend!). Lots of love and prayers.

Kelly Stegall said...

I can't even imagine what you and Jimmy are going through right now. Please know Mark and I will start praying for you and your precious baby girl tonight! I believe in miracles!

Much love,
Kelly & Mark

audrey said...

Jennifer and Jimmy I along with my family am praying with a heavy heart with this information. Oddly I had mentioned to you about pregnancy just possibly a week ago. I believe with all my heart you both have made the right decision. Like the wonderful holy bible says Isaiah 41:10 NIV
So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Your faith is great and things will occur as they should. We love yall.

Jennifer said...

Praying daily for God to perform a miracle, I know he can. May you two draw strength from him and each other. Your following your hearts and for that I admire you both so much. Your path is not easy but your not giving up! Lots of prayers are being said. I've added you to my prayer chain.
Jennifer J-Lynch

Julie said...

I don't know your family personally but one of my friends (Mendi McCormick) shared your blog with me. I have walked in similiar shoes as you are now. I was told my monoamniotic twins had a host of abnomalies. We knew that one of our girls would not live due to her lack of kidneys and bladder. Her identical twin sister also had a list of abnomalies (one lung, heart in right chest, one kidney, scoliosis)which my doctors told me was nearly incompatable with life. I was told she wouldn't make it to delivery and if she lived her quality of life was low. I transferred to a WONDERFUL Perinatologist who gave me hope and said "Only God knows what the plan is for these babies". I had to put all of my trust in Him so that I could get through this pregnancy. We delivered our girls at 34 weeks and both cried loudly! Our daughter with no kidneys, Grace, did not live but 7 days but they were so precious to us. Her sister, EllaKate, is now 5 years old and is doing amazing...you really would never know she has so many things wrong with her. PLEASE do not give up hope. Many times Drs. prepare you for the "worst case" and it seems hard not to dwell on the information they give you. God is in the business of performing miracles and I pray tonight for that. I look at my daughter and think "they told me to get rid of you, they told me I would never have you here with me, but I do!"! Even though Grace is not here with us any longer I am so very blessed to have been lucky enough to be her mother. I will keep your family in my prayers daily. If you have any questions or would like to talk you can email me at julierolf@aol.com Take care.

Julie Rolf

Staci said...

Jennifer, Jimmy and precious baby girl...you are surrounded by friends and family who are praying so diligently for a miracle which only He can perform. I truly believe that God works miracles and will be praying that He will continue to do His work on your sweet miracle growing inside you. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5-6

chavid4321 said...

Prayers your way !!!

GiGi said...

I do not know you all but I am definitely praying for you. You may hear the doctor's report, but BELIEVE the Word of God. Psalm 34:19 promises that God delivers the righteous from ALL afflictions. So be of good cheer, and continue to praise God for the blessing he has brought into your lives. I pray your little girl will live a healthy and full life just as God ordained for us. I'm looking forward to reading the praise report!

lesley foster said...

As Baby Girl Martin's 'great-aunt' , I have not had a waking moment without thinking about the three of you! I am praying without ceasing for a miracle for her and for peace and strength that surpasses all understanding for you and Jimmy. I and all of my family loves each of you very much and we are here for you and Jimmy for whatever you need! As I said before just let me know if there is anything Nelson or I can do . We love you guys!!

Meg said...

cYou and your family are in my prayers. I know how hard it it to hear such news after falling so deeply in love with someone you haven't even met yet. Just remember that no matter what the outcome. You were made and mother and she a daughter and that bond will never be broken and you will always be together. I will be thinking about you and praying hard that God will grant you what you need. Bless you....
Meg Duckett (Kirk)

Thornton said...

Jennifer, we are praying for you and your precious baby girl!!
Love,
Jay and Jenn Goodman

Thornton said...
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kathydillon said...

Praise God for your faith!

I don't know you but your blog showed up on my FB page this afternoon. You seem like an incredible couple and you have a wonderful support of friends and family.

I know something of what you are going through. Please know that what may seem like tragedy now will be an abundant blessing to you one day (probably sooner than later).

You already know that God does not make mistakes. That baby girl you are nurturing is a wonderful, beautiful blessing from God. She is blessed to have two parents such as you.
Kathy Dillon

Dana said...

Jennifer and Jimmy,
Although I do not know you, I recieved your link from a friend and cannot help but cry out to God on your behalf. May God hold you and your precious little one in the palm of His hand as you wait and pray. May God bless your family beyond your imagination. And, know - we are praying for you! And, are encouraging others to do so as well.

Darby said...

Hi Jen and Jimmy - My thoughts and prayers are with. My heart is also breaking again. I lost a baby at 13 weeks and like you, was already in love with her. However, had I not lost that sweet baby, I would not now have my dear Mia and for that I am immensly thankful.
I will be thinking of you and your sweet baby girl all the time.

Carole Kinard Horton said...

Dearest Jennifer, Please know that we will be praying earnestly for you all in the coming days. We also believe in miracles.
Much love to you, Carole and Pat Horton

Cinnamon said...

I don't know you and don't follow your blog (although it seems to be a fantastically interesting one :), I found your link through a friend. I consider myself a prayer warrior and will indeed pray for you and your baby!
All the best!

Kelly said...

Jennifer,
I truly don't know what else to say except I am praying, praying, praying for you and Jimmy and your sweet baby girl. I am praying for peace and encouragement and strength and blessings and miracles for you. And I am so amazed at the way you and Jimmy have honored the Lord through such a heartbreaking situation... God is definitely pleased with you. I Love you.

The Lawrence's said...
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The Lawrence's said...
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The Lawrence's said...

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

We love you and we are lifting you up in prayer daily.

Larry and Kristen

The Lawrence's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lee said...

Jennifer and Jimmy,
We are praying continuously for you and your little one. I love the verses from Philippians 4:6-7. We as humans cannot understand why things like this happen, but God has a divine plan. He is good and will not forsake us. May you find that peace that transcends all understanding as you deal with this situation. We love you and will keep lifting you up in our prayers!
Kay and Lee Gorman

The Clark Family said...

Precious Jennifer, Jimmy and Baby girl, thank you for sharing so that we can be loving you and lifting you up. Thank you for choosing life and valuing your miracle baby when the world thinks so little of children when they're in their mother's womb. God has sent His great army to defend you and keep you from harm (2 Kings 6:8-20). His power is no match for this world! Thank you for proclaiming that you serve a God of miracles who is mighty to save. We will pray for His healing touch on your baby girl and praise Him for the journey He has you on. We love you, Katie, Cameron & Turner

Brittany said...

Please know that Matt and I are praying for you, Jimmy, and your sweet baby girl. God is good and he will take care of all 3 of you. I know you will have to remind yourself of that daily, but I know you will. Your hearts are in the best hands they can be! We love you and are here for you always.

Jenny said...

I was sent to your blog through one of my readers...

Praying for you and your family!

Miss Southern Prep said...

I was sent to your blog by another blog I follow. I am praying for you and your husband! I know that when the time is right, God will bless you with a precious baby!

viewfromdownhere said...

I was brought here through another blog, and I just wanted to let you know that you and your husband and your little girl are in my prayers.

Janie said...

Jennifer and Jimmy, John and I have been and will continue to pray for the two of you, and God's precious gift, your sweet baby. We know that God wants only for the best of everything for all of His children, and what great children you are being. You are showing all of us how to worship and love during difficult times, and He will honor you in return. He has the perfect plan for your sweet baby, and God is amazing.We love you and just know that your extended family is there for you in love and prayer. Love, Janie and John

Leaha said...

You don't know me but a friend of mine posted your blog on Facebook and my heart breaks for you. I believe in miracles and the tremendous power of prayer and will be lifting up prayers for your family. Your faith comes thru in your blog and it is remarkable. Please know many people are praying for you.

The Mimi said...

Chad and I read this and our hearts broke for you both. Please know you are in our prayers. We serve a might God. May you both feel his His loving arms around you during this time.

Dale said...

Jennifer and Jimmy,

I received an e mail from Casey today asking for prayer for you. I cried when I read your account of the situation. I have prayed that God will correct this problem with your little girl and that she will be born safely and will enjoy a happy, healthy life.
There is no question that you and Jimmy have honored God in your decisions. Whatever the outcome of this awful situation, both of you can rest in the fact that you have done the right thing and have done all that you can do to preserve the life of this precious little girl.

I will be praying for all of you.

Pigtails and Bowties said...

I am so sorry to hear of your news. I will certainly keep all three of you in my prayers and pray that God has something else planned for you.

Jennie said...

Jennifer- I came here from Holiday's blog. I was in your provisional class a few years ago. I was so touched by your post here and know that no matter how everything turns out, you will be stronger for it. We have had multiple miscarriages and when all seemed lost, God answered our greatest fears with reassurance whether through people he brought into our lives or situations we were placed in. We will be praying for you, your husband and your sweet baby girl.

LMOS said...

I was brought here through a friend's blog, and I just wanted to let you know that you, your husband and your little girl are in our prayers.