Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Checking In....

Sweet Readers,
You all are so good to us. We continue to be showered with love, a full mailbox, wonderful meals, and "porch surprises" as I call them. All the "Thinking of You" and "Praying for You" messages are so appreciated, again EVERY SINGLE post, comment, text, email, card, etc is so very touching. We can't show our gratitude enough.

We had an appointment last Thursday-St Patrick's Day, with our regular OB. These are typically uneventful appointments, where they weight/measure and check the heartbeat with the doppler. These are less involved because of all our specialist appointments. Our OB is even amazed at what she sees in the reports, just because she doesn't see this as often as of course a specialist would. However, we still have to keep our regular appointments and so last week was the 20 week mark. (We are at 21 weeks now!) Everything was good, and because some Grandmothers came along, they got to see a glimpse of our sweet girl. We weren't due for an ultrasound but the Doctor was thrilled to just show them (and see the heart for herself). It was a quick appointment and again, we rejoice in uneventful appointments.

We head back to the specialist late next week. I am still anxious at those and for those appointments in fear that they will find something else, or a diagnosis will change since we are still 22 weeks when we go (more than 1/2 way there though!). I have been learning a lesson in trying my best to let those fears go and trust in the Lord with the simple answer, FAITH. It's simply put but certainly not always easy. And to me, I'm not sure living in absolute faith is something many can do, but we are called to do so.

The Lord knows what we need, and he didn't miss a beat this week either. Tuesday morning I was doing my devotional before work and it was a lesson in "praying through things." It simply said praying through things "might be defined as praying one's way into full faith, while praying into the assurance that one has been accepted and heard, so that one becomes actually aware of receiving, by firmest anticipation and in advance of the event, the thing for which he asks full confidence that our prayers have been heard and answered." We don't stop praying in these trying times, we just pray differently. Pray with no doubt left that our prayers are being heard and answered in accordance with God's word. Praying as it says "in advance of the event for which we ask" That took me back a breath. Praying with SUCH confidence and SUCH assurance in advance?! This is tough for me, I feel I could made to look like a fool, I typically "beg" in prayers these days. After reading the direct idea of this, I feel maybe I don't have enough faith to pull that out!? But I know and believe that is what is right, it's just another lesson in this journey. While continuing to read, I immediately looked up, because I'm telling you, you ask or you struggle with something and the next thing you know, it's the March 22nd lesson in your devotional. :) As I worried I wasn't going to be able to pull this off, I remembered something I learned a long time ago~knowing that the Lord takes our spiritual temperature with our hearts not our tongues, thank goodness! So he knows what I'm trying to do and get across, bless Him. To pray in thanksgiving for the things yet unseen, KNOWING they have been heard. Not an easy thing for an anxious mommy-to-be like me, but yet, another fantastic example of "leaning not on your own understanding."

The day's devotional also stated that the old Pentecostal Era "prayed in ways like it was as easy as cashing a check at the bank." That's pretty simply put! I'm a little uneasy this particular morning, and now this devotional giving examples of praying in such faith, I'm a bit overwhelmed. For some reason, I pick up my Bible next to me, (not in accordance w/ the devotional) and it literally falls open to Matthew 9 and my eyes are drawn to an underlined verse that somewhere along the years, I had underlined. It was verse 22 "Daughter, be encouraged! For your faith has made you well!" Being already overwhelmed, this took me over the edge. I knew I was being wrapped in the arms of love, grace and compassion from our Heavenly Father that morning, I have no doubts. Remember, this scripture was not given in the devotional, and low and behold that was the first page the Bible was opened to, without a thought given.

To explain the verse you must know (don't worry,short version)it's from the story where Jesus is going through the crowds and a woman who was ill, and she was just trying to "touch him" and she just knew, without a doubt, with all of her heart, if she touched Him or His robe in any way, she would be healed. And that verse was His response to her.
Again, talk about being spoken to! She was praying through her pain, and boy did she not ever believe "in advance of the event!" Just knowing in full faith that if she could reach Him, he would heal her, and he did. The very same lesson my devotional was trying to teach me, and the very one my heart needed to hear.

Later that evening, some girls from work and I were going to a painting class where we were to paint a cross. We were told to bring scripture, lyric or something to put on our cross. For 2-3 weeks I just couldn't decide what to put on my cross painting, I had too many favorite verses, song lyrics, and couldn't decide just what I wanted. After this overwhelming, yet amazing morning devotional,I called Jimmy to tell him the morning's events before work and without really thinking about the verse and the painting, he said "I think you found your verse tonight." And right he was.....


HappyascanB said...

Absolutely beautiful! The Bible Study I'm doing right now is focusing on Ephesians 3:20 - 21.
'Our God is able to do [for you, Jennifer, Jimmy, and Baby M] abundantly, exceedingly MORE than you can imagine." How amazing!!! Loads of love!

Will and Alycia said...

I am continuously amazed at how God uses you, Jennifer to reach others. What an encouraging post and one that can be applied to so many aspects of daily life. As we pray for your appointment Friday and your continued pregnancy we will thank God for his promises and those moments that he gives that remind us that he is with us through the journey. Love you!